Monday, December 31, 2001
Happy New Year.
Whew! Made it!

Alternate Title - Piss Off 2001. You Sucked.
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Just have to make through the day.
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Sunday, December 30, 2001
1 day to go. Thank God.
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Thursday, December 27, 2001
Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired.

4 days to go. Not that we're counting. Uh... yeah.
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Monday, December 24, 2001
For your listening pleasure this holiday season, I bring you Sandra Bernhard. Enjoy. About 3.6 MB.

7 days to go.
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Sunday, December 23, 2001
Giuliani is Time's Person of the Year. Can't argue with that.
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Thursday, December 20, 2001
Spent. It's the best and perhaps only way to describe myself right now.

Just 10 more days.
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Wednesday, December 19, 2001
I spent most of the night last night praying for sleep. It never really came. I ended up watching a movie at some point. East Is East is a pretty funny movie at times though it could have been much better I think.
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Tuesday, December 18, 2001
13 more days. Please just 13 more days.
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Looking for a break. Maybe some day we will be able to talk and get along. Maybe some day...
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Monday, December 17, 2001

Snowing. Just a few minutes ago outside of where I work.
Click on above pic for a bigger image (~500K).
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My life. ;-) You may want to turn the sound down or rock some headphones if you're at work or some other place that uppity people frequent.
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Stuart Adamson of Big Country fame found dead. Big Country you ask? C'mon people! 80's! Think 80's!
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I think I got the dotcomments thing working. I guess sometimes you do have to read the instructions and in my case the errorpage.txt that explains these things and how to fix them.
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Realized while looking for something to eat this morning that I left a bag of groceries at the store the other day.

14 days to go.
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Sunday, December 16, 2001
Lazy, washed out Sunday. Blah...

The dotcomments thing is eluding me. Can't seem to figure out the "55 comments - 12/31/69 7:00pm" thing. I wondered what happened on December 31, 1969 at 7 pm and if it happened 55 times. Anyway, others have gotten this to work so it should relatively easy, right? Anyone have any suggestions?
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Saturday, December 15, 2001
15 days to go.
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Testing out dotcomments.
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Friday, December 14, 2001
Had a good time hanging out with Trivikrama, Neeraj and Natetrain while the practiced. They had some good stuff going at the end. The bathroom at the practice space, however, was absolutely vile. Afterward, Neeraj, Nathan and I went to grab a bite at the Upper Crust. Naturally the main topic of discourse was music. Neeraj and Nathan found out they went to the same hardcore fest in Madison, Wisconsin in 1994.

Rainer Maria is playing the Middle East tonight. Neeraj and I were both considering going, but opted out. We were both kind of spent and the fact that Rainer Maria was going on until well after 11 pm didn't help. We both agreed on our mutual pet peeve - going to see a band, but the band goes on so late that you either don't get to see them because you're too tired or you only get two or three songs before you call it quits for the night. I know. My life is terribly exciting, isn't it?
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I don't why, but I had a dream with Weezer in it. It was one of those strange dreams where Weezer were old high school friends. It didn't make a whole lot of sense, but dreams rarely do I guess. Nevertheless, I didn't got to high school with Weezer and although I like Weezer I don't even own any of their records. *shrug*

17 days to go.
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Thursday, December 13, 2001
Can I tell you how I can't wait for this year to be over? Look at the title of this page. This certainly has been the year of livingly stupidly. This year was stupid from word go. I rang in the New Year on the wrong note and I'm speculating that triggered everything from that point on and the rest of the year, as they say, was downhill. The particulars aren't important, nor are they all that exciting or intriguing. Save from a trip out to the left coast I have been nothing but irritable and shitty this whole year. For the most part this year almost ties with 1995 as the year I would like to forget about most. Can I possibly survive the next 18 days?

Something I've noticed through all this is how cyclic my life is. I noticed I go into a very bad depression every three years - 2001, 1998, 1995, 1992, 1989, etc. I have really bad years every six years - 2001, 1995, 1989, 1983, etc. Sometimes I feel as though those years were really tramatic although I couldn't tell you exactly why. My mom often tells me I'm not happy unless I'm miserable. Thanks, mom. lt's almost interesting in a frightening way. Anyone else have this experience?

Is she still mad at me? Yeah, I think that's a safe bet. I don't know if she'll ever really like or trust me again. I can't necessarily blame her. I did the wrong thing at every given opportunity. I feel very badly and sad about what has transpired between us over the course of the last several months. Part of me feels the damage that has been done to our relationship is irreparable. I hope not. I would give just about anything to have things back to the way they were.
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Wednesday, December 12, 2001
...
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Tuesday, December 11, 2001
Tonight's winner for worst spam subject line.

• WATCH ME DRINK A GALLON OF CUM! 

My life has become the things of John Hughes movies and Dashboard Confessional lyrics.
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One of the more disturbing things I have read this year. Could things get possibly worse?
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Monday, December 10, 2001
Removing post for now. If you're smart you'll still find it and a bunch of other tidbits.
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Sunday, December 09, 2001
Woke up to about four inches of snow this morning. Tired. Not going to the studio. Still snowing now. Action and adventure. Yeah, you know my name.
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Saturday, December 08, 2001
What a long day. After going to bed at 2 am, I got up around 6 and actually got out of bed around 7:30 to make an hour's drive to get to the studio by 9 am. It did happen. Went to go check the po box for the book only to find the Post Office erroneously closed it and returned all mail to sender. That kind of sucked, especially since there were some checks and orders in there. It took me about an hour to get everything straightened out. What that means--I was basically told it sucks to be me and had to reapply for another box. Luckily, I got the same one as before. Made it to the studio at 10 am.

I got back from the studio in time to go to the ICA to cover a live sound gig for Jerry. Despite everything going wrong at the beginning, something was worked out before the start of the event. Tonight's feature was John Butcher and Phil Durrant. John played the saxophone while Phil manipulated that sound with his powerbook. Very cool stuff. After an excellent performance, Jerry shows up to load the pa into his van and I find that it's snowing. Boston's first snow fall this year. Grabbed a quick bite to eat with Jerry afterward and headed home.

And now I again find myself at the computer late at night. Tomorrow morning brings another early morning to the studio and after that who knows. Maybe I can make it to see Mahogany at Other Music. Maybe I can relax. Maybe I can sleep. Maybe I can get certain things that have been plaguing my mind for the past several months out of my head. If only for a day.
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Friday, December 07, 2001
For the most part, Friday was a blah day. Surprise. Determined that Ms. Davis is all talk and no action. Got to see Mr. Poorman which is always a good thing.

Went to the Oni Gallery tonight on Ms. Castro's advice. "this girl is my friend. she rocks." "This girl" of course was reffering to Lorraine Lelis, guitarist and singer for Mahogany and yes she does.

The Oni was presenting Past Forward, a monthly film series. Tonight's feature was Genevieve Anderson, who won Honorable Mention at the 1998 Berlin Film Festival for her short, Boxed. Ms. Anderson also presented another short, Sunlight. Both were very good. I especially liked Sunlight. The puppets featured in both were a little on the creepy side and several were passed around during the discussion. Also shown were Jan Svankmayer's Food and Darkness-Light-Darkness along with several from the Brothers Quay, Rehearsal for Extinct Anatomies and Anamorphosis. The Oni did a nice job. As I walked in, I was surprised to see a woman rolling cookie dough and baking cakes. During the intermission between the films and Mahogany, there was several multilayered chocolate cakes, cheesecakes, tarts and cookies, as well as plenty of beverages alcoholic and otherwise--none of which I partook. Maybe next time there could something for us vegetarians.

During a break between films I sheepishly introduced myself to Lorraine, who was feeling a little under the weather.

"Hi, Lorraine?"
"Hi, you must be Ryan."
"Yeah, I'm friends with Christine."
"Wow, I finally get to meet someone who has actually met Christine."

After a quick round of small talk, our attention returned to the films and then it was time for Ms. Lelis and her bandmates to get read to perform. Mahogany's set was billed as "quadrophonic" and sure enough there were four speakers, two in the front and two in the back. The speakers weren't for show. Definitely had some quad action going. Mahogany also had nice visuals projected on a screen during their set. Mahogany brought a modernist pop set filled with soft airy vocals from Andrew Prinz and Lelis blended with programmed sequences, drums and live percussion. All in all a very comforting set. Their latest release, The Dream of a Modern Day, made Other Music's best of 2000 list and they are performing an in-store at the Other Music in Harvard Square on Sunday. Chatted with all members after their set and was pleased to find they were all very nice and down to earth and was glad to met them all, albeit breifly. In speaking with Lorraine, she mentioned they should have a new record due out this spring with a video on an enhanced cd. Or as I overheard percussionist and programmer Bobby Pietrusko telling someone, "our record is due out in the spring. Or the summer. Or whenever." Hopefully, springtime will not only bring us warm weather and blooming flowers, but a new Mahogany release.
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Today's subject lines so far:

• Models Use our Breast Enhancement Cream.. 100% PROVEN !!
• BOOST Your DSL Cable Satellite T1/3 Speed! NOW!

Thursday, December 06, 2001
The Dark Knight Strikes Again.
If the first issue of this three issue limited series is any indication, then Frank Miller and Lynn Varley have one hell of a ride instore for us. Hint: What you waited until the of end of the whole The Dark Knight Returns story, happens in the last few pages of the first issue of DKSA.
11:07 | link |

Today's subject lines so far:

• *** A Tribute To George Harrison ***
• I Told Him Not To Cum In My Mouth!
• Your cock scaring people!

Wednesday, December 05, 2001
The last ten subject lines in my inbox:

• Ryan, IMPORTANT NOTICE!
• FREE OFFSHORE NEWSLETTER & $1750.00 US TAX FREE!
• info you requested
• Get Revenge On Your Ex Boss & Ex Lover!
• FREE SEX GET SOME NOW!!
• Small Dick? We Can Add 3-5 Inches In Days!
• He Shot A Load All Over My Face!
• *** Huge Savings Just In Time For The Holidays ***
• XXX After School Party! 18+ Only
• *** Free Shipping through the Holidays! ***

Take your pick:

A)  The rebound.
B)  The third wheel.
C)  Both.